12:00- The village knows of my arrival, and that I am indeed the Goddesses' chosen hero, but they do not seem excited. I cannot comprehend why. If I was woken up at 5:00 in the morning by a chosen hero exclaiming his arrival, I would be overjoyed. Even the demon children seemed enraged. Their anger is like ecstasy.
12:05- I drew my sword to kill the children, but a strange woman-dude named Renado intervened. He said that the Gorons on Death Mountain have become hostile, and have restricted access to their mines. I never did trust those rock demons. Now they shall feel my wrath. Little do they know I was the lightweight champion on the Ordon High wrestling team. I shall carve these rock demons into chamberpots for my house when I am done with them.
Strange in appearance as he is, I must admit he has his mysterious charms. Sadly, I have a higher calling. Zelda's charms are far more mysterious, and far more feminine.
12:10- Those damn Demon Children. They're planning something, I know it. They want me to stop the rock demons. My lupine instincts tell me to kill them all now, but my sophisticated human mind cannot help but think that greater things lie in wait. It is true that without coal and lava from the mines, we are helpless to combat the tree demons.
Suck my deku nuts, cursed tree demons.
12:15 - I caught an ant. It has been too long since I ate dessert.
12:25- Sweet Zelda I swear to thee, when I am your king I will ensure that these Gorons are done away with. Never again will they shame me by pushing me off of Death Mountain! The man-woman told me "they recognize only strength," so I am confused as to why they did not let me pass. I do wonder how to eliminate them later. Perhaps a flood of some sort.
Swim for your life, wretched demon.
12:30- That fatso Bo gained their respect, but not me? No way he could have done it without using Lila's seductive methods. I could knock him off Death Mountain any time I wanted to! Whatever. I shall find him back in Ordon.
12:35- Perhaps my horse is not completely useless after all. The two demons trying to overtake it were quickly and brutally stomped. I have taught her well.
12:45- That stalfos has insulted my pride again, and I shall use these skills of his against him! I will show him the might of this wooden shield of mine. His bones are powerless against my steel!
12:46- Pfft, the coward ran away again. I scoff at him. scoff, I say!
12:50- The village knows about the demon children. Apparently, they've been suppressed by a strange and powerful elixir called Marih Ju Hana. Must be from those witch doctors down in Lake Hylia. Foolish villagers, demons cannot be pacified only in death. Luckily, I consider myself a Quaker in that regard. Nevertheless, they declined my offer.
12:55- I knew it! Bo cheated! These strange boots make him heavier than the rock demons! ...I could still beat him in a sumo match though. I just neglected to use my full power is all.
1:00- I left thumbtacks right outside of the sumo ring, but of course my strength was so great that I threw him far beyond them. He told me I didn't need those boots of his, but little does he know what I left in that chest instead for him.
Note to self: Don't feed Bokoblin meat to Epona.